well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
