don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
