is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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