you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize