According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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