i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize