He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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