i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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