Having a random hookup so left but love u
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
