I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
