i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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