please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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