Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
there is glitter all over my balls
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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