make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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