The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
