I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
