That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
