I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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