Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize