The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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