Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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