I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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