my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
