smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
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Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
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Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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