toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize