It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
even my farts smell like vagina
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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