I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
