i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize