Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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