Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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