i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize