You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
