I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
