ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?