just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Use "feeling words"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.