I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
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my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
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I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.