so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
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This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
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They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night