Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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