Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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