you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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