yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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