Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
