You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
