he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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