I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
