I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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