Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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