Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize