if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
My liver just had a heart attack.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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