Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
