I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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