A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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