she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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