You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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