I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize