I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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