FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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