birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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