Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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