omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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