I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
