spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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