I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
