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His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
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