i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle