make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
