She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just gargled with NyQuil
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
