Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize